Stilted Resonance
by Almostpoeticgrl1
Summary: One shot The hellgate has been closed but with an enormous cost. While Willow got back one of the most important people in her life she lost someone equally precious. What happens when you loose your best friend? When you get back the love of your life?


**A/N: This is my first Willow and Tara oneshot, heck this is my first oneshot ever and it does involve woman/woman lovin so if you don't like that please don't read it. No flames please but all other comments are welcome!  
**

Disclaimer: **Nope I don't own BTVS, Willow or Tara or any of the other characters created by Joss Whedon **

* * *

There was silence.

All was still.

She couldn't remember the last time it had been so quiet. There was always sound…Chaos… Always something… **Something**.

It was over. They had won.

Glory, the sadistic god who had flipped their lives upside down; who had flipped **her** life upside down, was gone. She should've been happy.

She should've been crying tears of joy; clutching her friends to her happily, grasping Tara close… But she wasn't.

She was frozen. Not by any magicks, not by any force of nature, not by any being and yet she felt completely paralyzed.

The silence wasn't helping. She almost wished it were chaotic, so that maybe she could lose herself in the moment, lose herself in **something** instead of this.

_This_ should've been a joyful moment, they should've all been reveling in this silence, in peace, but they couldn't.

Willow felt empty. She felt completely devoid of all feeling. It felt as if she had stepped into an alternate reality and was due to return to her own at any moment. But this wasn't an alternate reality.

She stared at the lifeless body five feet away from her.

Dead.

Dead…

Dead.

Her best friend was dead.

Buffy, the girl who had been her first real friend besides Xander… Buffy, the girl she had laughed with on many occasions, cried with, fought with and fought beside… Buffy, the first person she had first come out to; the first person to accept her despite the gender of the person she fell in love with... Buffy, the girl she had held as guttural sobs escaped her friend's lips because of the loss of her mother… Buffy, who she had always thought of as brave…Strong…Invincible…

Buffy was dead.

There was no joy as Willow and her group of friends, dirty and tired, stood staring at Buffy's corpse.

A loud choking sob to her left was the first real sound to break the silence. She supposed that it was Dawn; she supposed that she should do something, offer comfort, but she couldn't move.

She didn't want to move. To move was to be in the moment. To move was to accept that this was real. To move was to accept that her best friend was gone. She couldn't.

She watched Xander approach the body that Dawn was sobbing beside, tears streaked his face and for once there was no humor in his eyes when he looked over at her. No, there was only pain and sorrow marring the contours of his face. As Anya began to draw near to him he began to cry softly.

How long they all stood there she didn't know. Time… It seemed so irrelevant now. Hours. Minutes. She probably would've stood there until her legs gave out but soon she felt something quiver. It was a shivering and for the first time Willow noticed that it was cold outside. The sweat that had formed during the fight was drying so it was now very chilly. But, she wasn't shivering was she?

Tara.

Tara was in her arms shivering. She remembered now. The spell had worked with Glory. Tara was herself again. After months of trying to find a way to bring her love back; months of frustration and despair, Tara was herself again.

Memories from moments before played and replayed in her head like a film. Tara was looking at her with beautiful _lucid_ blue eyes. She had felt her heart racing. She had been so happy. They had embraced each other with vigor. Kissed each other with unbridled passion for only moments… It was only moments before _this_ had happened.

"Willow."

It wasn't Tara that spoke but Giles. He looked worn, ragged. There was blood staining his clothing. Approaching them slowly his shoulders sagged; he looked defeated. She imagined they all looked defeated despite the fact that they had won. A bitter laugh began to rise in Willow's throat. It was so ironic to have won and lost at the same time. The group turned to her surprised as she began to laugh resentfully. Her bitter laughter soon turned hysterical.

Buffy was dead. Buffy was dead. Buffy was dead. She had sacrificed herself to close the Hellmouth. The slayer. The only hope they had was dead. One of her best friends was dead. Frenzied laughter continued to flow from her lips. She couldn't stop. She laughed harder. Harder.

"Willow."

The laughter caused her to tremble.

"Willow."

She couldn't stop even if she tried. She felt Tara move out of her grasp as she clutched her sides.

Laughter.

She couldn't breathe. It was becoming painful but she welcomed the sting. Pain was better than emptiness, numbness.

"Willow!"

And then it stopped. Once she heard Tara's distressed cry it all stopped. Looking up from the ground she met her lover's horrified gaze. She barely noticed someone approaching her swiftly and soon there was a hard blow to her left cheek.

Blinking rapidly, she beheld the blonde haired man who had slapped her. He raised his hand again and she closed her eyes waiting for the impact.

It never came.

Opening them again she found herself staring at the back of her girlfriend who was now between her and Spike.

"If you hit her again, I _will_ kill you."

She had never heard Tara sound like that before. If she had been looking at her lover's face she would've noticed Tara's ocean blue eyes stormy with unrestrained fury. Spike took a step back snarling, his eyes filled with a deep soul searing pain despite his glare.

"Tell her to laugh again… Buffy is **dead**. Do you understand Willow, she's dead!"

At this she heard Dawn begin to wail frantically. She still couldn't move. The rusty taste of blood filled her mouth from the slap had been delivered to her. Her cheek would most likely bruise but at the moment she didn't care. She couldn't care less.

Buffy was dead.

"We need to move the body…Spike." Giles motioned to the vampire and they both lifted Buffy before the blonde took her completely, cradling her gently in his arms, his face unreadable in the darkness.

Closing her eyes tightly Willow tried to block out the pain that now began to flood her senses. A warm hand slid into her own and as she felt a sob come to her lips as Tara drew her close.

Her Tara, whom she had begun to think of as lost forever. She hadn't expected to regain one of the most important people in her life only to lose another. She realized that naively she had thought that they were invincible. That they could get hurt yes, but she never fathomed death. Especially not Buffy's… But Buffy was gone and she shook with a fresh round of sobs. It felt as if she had been ripped in two, as if her flesh had been ripped off of her body; she could think of no worse torture. Life was so uncertain… And what if she lost Tara again? What if she lost Tara for good?

Grasping on to Tara, Willow cried, and cried…and cried.

_______

The drive home was difficult. In all actuality, to call it difficult didn't even describe the amount of agony they all endured sitting in that silence.

That painful silence.

They were beginning to realize that this was real. Buffy was dead. It was a strange and eerie parallel to what typically happened after battles such as these. There was no quirky conversation. There were no witty remarks. No laughter. Only tears. Constant ever flowing tears.

Willow knew that she would've gone insane if it hadn't been for Tara rubbing her knee soothingly despite her own tears. Without Tara grounding her she would be lost.

Dawn had fallen asleep after her hysteria had zapped the energy from her body. And as Giles dropped them off, she and Tara had taken the young woman upstairs to her bed.

Willow watched as Tara kissed Dawn's head after tucking her in. She felt tears spring to her eyes. Dawn didn't deserve all this pain. No one deserved this pain… To lose her mother and now her sister… Before she was hit by another wave of tears Willow exited the room.

After hearing a strangled sound, Tara heard Willow leave the room and her heart ached. She knew that in the morning the force of Buffy's death would hit Dawn hard; it would hit them all harder than it had tonight. Tara shuddered as memories from her own past flooded through her mind.

She hoped that Dawn would be enveloped in sweet peaceful slumber long enough. Sorrow would come all too swiftly.

Running her hand over Dawn's cheek as the girl mumbled something unintelligible, Tara took one last long look at her before walking out of the room.

Noticing the cast on her arm for the first time in the evening Tara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This must've been the result of Glory crushing her hand before scrambling her brain. It had been the last coherent thing that she remembered. She shook her head trying to dispel the jumbled memories, a sudden feeling of despair and darkness descending upon her.

Sighing heavily she walked into her room and closed the door behind her. She wondered where Willow was. The answer came soon enough as she found herself pushed up against the door, the redhead's lips frantically crashing into her own.

Sensation.

God Willow's lips were soft.

She hadn't felt this much sensation since…well, it had been a while. A moan arose from the back of her throat but she forced it down and felt herself pushing Willow away.

"Willow, shouldn't we talk?"

Willow merely stared as she took in Tara's breathless words. The blonde's cheeks were slightly pink and sea blue eyes searched her own. She noted that Tara's luminous hair was still held back in a ponytail.

She didn't want to talk. Moving her arms slowly to Tara's head she removed the small hair tie and situated the soft tresses until it curtained her girlfriend's face.

Willow didn't want to talk. She wanted to feel.

She wanted to feel more than the despair and pain that had plagued her for hours. She wanted to feel happy. She wanted to get lost inside of someone.

She wanted Tara.

She _needed_ Tara.

Even though Tara had initially wanted to talk; wanted to have some sort of conversation because it had seemed so long since she had had a lucid discussion the look the redhead was giving her was quickly purging those feelings. The only reoccurring thought now in her mind was Willow's lips on hers again. She lifted her good hand to stroke the redhead's cheek. Willow looked so tormented, so alarming and so feral in this moment; green eyes dark and fathomless, it almost made the blonde try to step back.

Willow leaned into Tara, running her hands slowly up her arms before gathering her in a close embrace.

"I was so scared...I started to think that…"

The smaller woman trailed off looking helplessly into blue eyes.

"I got so lost Willow…But I knew that you would find me."

"I will always find you."

Their next kiss began as a mere whisper. She felt the redhead's arms wrap around her tightly and pressed herself closer to Willow as she deepened the kiss.

Willow felt, more than heard, Tara groan into her mouth as their tongues met. Slowly, sensuously they danced, simply becoming reacquainted. She felt Tara's hands roam up and down her back lightly as she placed her arms on either side of Tara's body; on the door she was leaning against.

There bodies were barely touching however Willow felt like there was electricity emanating from their bodies. She sighed and kissed her love more passionately. Tara flicked her tongue against the red heads own and moaned with displeasure when Willow pulled away.

Green eyes again met blue, and Willow just gazed at her, seemingly drinking her in with her sight. The corners of Tara's mouth rose ever so slightly.

"Sweetheart, you can't just kiss me like that and then stop."

The blondes voice was husky and Willow felt her insides turn to jelly.

"Momentary diversion. It won't happen again."

She leaned towards the blonde, closing the gap between them. Tara sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and the fire that had started in the red heads belly was gradually growing.

Moving her lips from Tara's, she began placing short, open-mouthed kisses around the crook of Tara's neck. The blonde sighed, leaning her head back to give her girlfriend more access. As she began to nip at Tara's neck, Willow felt hands slide down to her butt and she moaned as she felt herself being tugged closer to the blonde; Tara's hips moving in what was becoming an increasingly sensual method.

She slid her hands behind the blonde and raked her fingernails up and down the blondes back as she continued to slowly kiss and nip Tara's neck. When she reached Tara's pulse point she sucked gently on it before biting down firmly. Tara's answering moan was music to her ears and she eased the sting with her tongue, lips then trailing down to her girlfriend's collarbone. Glancing up she beheld smoldering blue eyes.

She felt the blonde's steady heart beat against her chest as she slowly reached down, grasping the bottom of Tara's tank top and began to drag it up her torso.

Tara's breath caught in her throat as she felt Willow's capable hands unlatch her bra and arched against the redhead as she felt a warm mouth descend upon her chest. Her knees began to buckle. Willow pressed her harder against the door.

Sliding her hand down she ran her fingers teasingly down the crotch of Tara's pajama pants. Her lover shivered. And when Willow flicked her tongue against Tara's sensitive flesh, her the blonde delivered a drawn out moan. Tara tangled her fingers in red locks as Willow focused her attentions on Tara's other breast, her fingers moving in slow circles all too close and yet way too far from her core.

Looking up as she continued her ministrations she saw Tara's eyes clamped shut, her lips parted, a deep flush crossed her cheeks and she fought the urge to take her girlfriend right against the door.

To Tara's disappointment, Willow discontinued adoring her chest and she was momentarily confused when she was kissed gently and led away from the door.

As Willow pulled Tara backwards to the bed she began removing her own shirt, bra and pajama pants. Pulling the blonde on top of her as they reached the bed, she sighed as she felt her girlfriends soft skin pressed against her own.

Willow wrapped her legs around Tara's waist, her hips undulating on their own accord. Tara kissed her with fervor before reaching her own hands up and caressing Willow's breasts. She ran her thumb over Willow's hard peak, watching as her girlfriend bit her lip to prevent a groan from escaping.

Willow slid her hand down Tara's torso, playing with the drawstring on her pajama pants and wondering why they were still on before she felt warm lips begin to move down her neck…Down her torso. When Tara sensuously dipped her tongue in her belly button she arched off the bed.

Willow groaned at the flood of sensations, her head spinning, as she felt a steady pounding between her legs. Her girlfriend's lips lightly caressed her stomach before moving down, down, down…

"Wait." Tara barely heard Willow's breathy groan but when she did, she looked up questioningly before trailing her tongue along Willow's inner thigh. Willow quivered deliciously.

"I want…I want…together…both of us." Willow spoke with difficulty as Tara continued trailing her tongue higher and higher. She groaned as she pulled Tara away and as she guided the blonde to her mouth for a kiss she slid her hand inside of Tara's pajamas.

"Oo-Oh..." was all that Tara moaned disjointedly as she felt Willow's fingers against her overheated flesh, lightly circling her clit, teasing.

She knew she didn't want to be teased; she was close.

To get her point across she slid two fingers into Willow without warning. Willow was more than ready for her and she felt copious amounts of moisture as she sustained her actions.

Willow stopped her own movements momentarily as she felt her eyes roll to the back of her head with unfiltered pleasure. Her hips moved against Tara's fingers on their own accord and she slid two fingers deep inside of Tara's core. Tara moaned loudly and thrust more rapidly inside of her.

The redhead knew she wasn't going to last very long so she sped up inside of Tara, curling her fingers to hit the soft spongy spot that would soon send Tara over the edge.

"More." Tara groaned and Willow added a third finger, crying out when the blonde's fingers plunged into her more deeply in response.

"Oh Tara…Oh god…"

Tara began moving against her with greater intensity and pressed her lips to the redhead's neck. Feeling the begins of an orgasm hitting her she took her thumb and rubbed it around Willow's small bundle of nerves.

She soon felt the redhead clinching around her fingers and she went to kiss her as she felt her own body being pushed over the edge. Lips drowned out cries as they both descended into the abyss.

_________

As she came to, Willow felt Tara's arms wrapped around her securely and she snuggled closer to her lover.

"I've missed you," Tara said in a sleep-tinged voice grasping Willow's hand and lacing their fingers together.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They laid in peaceful silence and Willow yawned. Before she knew it she had fallen asleep.

It might've been hours; minutes later but she awoke with a start as she felt Tara shift abruptly. She was no longer in the blonde's arms and she mimicked Tara's position as she sat up. Green eyes looked to cobalt.

"Baby?"

Tara didn't respond to her. She seemed lost in thought.

"Baby?"

Willow frowned when she realized she was ignored again. Tara stayed silent for a few more moments before she began mumbling under her breath.

"There's got to be a way…I'm sure there's a way." The blonde scrunched up her eyebrows, exhaled softly, and then finally realized Willow was awake and staring at her strangely. She shot her girlfriend an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I was sleeping and I had a dream. It made me think… What if there is a way to bring Buffy back."

Willow's eyes widened, she was surprised she hadn't entertained the thought in the midst of her grief.

"I…"

There was silence before Tara continued, "Mr. Giles has so many books, and I'm sure if we did research…Will, we **could** find a way."

The first genuine smile Willow had seen from Tara brightened her features and she felt her heart warm.

There was hope.

And in the silence of the moment Willow was comforted. She looked at Tara awestruck.

Her lover grasped her hand and squeezed it gently. She squeezed back.

She felt a sort of peace descend upon her.

There was hope.

There was hope.

There was real hope.


End file.
